Blog #3–What are you hungry for? 4/24/17

Good morning, lovely people!  It’s a cloudy, rainy day here in Baltimore, a great time for reflection.

This past month has been unbelievably eventful in my life.  The amount of singing, performing, making new friends, and being filled by beauty have been life-changing.  I feel like my life has finally turned in a direction that suits me.  It was so intense that I didn’t have time to think or worry.  I simply felt—and I felt alive, really truly alive for long enough that I began to embody what being alive is for me.

What does this have to do with losing weight, you may ask?   What a great question 😊.  I didn’t know it had anything to do with releasing weight either—until I began living it.  I’m finding that the question really comes down to what you’re hungry for, to what you crave in your heart and with your senses.

To backtrack a little, I already enjoyed a rather fulfilling life.  I have created and nurtured much beauty and beautiful relationships over the years, as well as delving deeply into my energy and spirituality and releasing past trauma.  I’ve had a most interesting life so far, especially when I remember my fascinating childhood and being part of a family of world travelers—when your brother has meetings in Texas, and he comes to Maryland to visit because it’s just a short jaunt away, you know you live in a cool family 😊.

But to return to being an artist.  To return to opera, to art song, to that music which feeds my soul, to the creativity and messiness of the rehearsal process, to the beauty of the performance locations, to the hilarious joy of connecting with other opera singers and accompanists and conductors—to doing it day after day, to feeling sensual overload from the amount of senses being nurtured.  There is bliss in so much of life, and yet to re-embrace the bliss of performing has been delicious for me.

Again, what does this have to do with weight loss?  I found that as I embraced all these sensual activities again, I was less physically hungry.  I mean, I seriously wanted less food.  And then I craved healthier food, because of course, I wanted the energy and didn’t have time to sit on the couch for a day to recuperate from eating disgusting food.  The weight continues to come off—I’m down 12 lbs.!  I was down more but have gained some back as I’ve begun to weight train again.

And something has shifted inside me.  I am now fully engaged in feeding all my senses.  To be clear, I’m not talking about each person’s deep hunger for meaning and purpose—that would be another conversation.  But I am speaking to your senses, to what makes you feel alive.  If I am deliberately feeding my senses, then the beauty of food becomes part of the joy, rather than the whole thing.  And yes, we all go through times in our lives when feeling alive may not the point.  I feel like the last few years have been that for me—I was developing other parts of myself—but now, feeling alive IS the point.  We are each the primary person responsible for the beauty in our lives.

So, my questions to you . . . . What makes you come alive?  What do you find beautifully fulfilling?  Are there activities or ways of being that feed many of your senses at once?  We have been given our senses to enjoy in this world—are you enjoying yours?  Do you notice the beauty when you (for example) drive along a road with beautiful cliff-side homes on one side and a rushing river on the other side?  Do you allow yourself to notice these things and be nurtured by them?  What about the sheer joy of masculine energy, or feminine energy for that matter?  Do you notice colors and touch and smell?  These are all gifts we’ve been given—let’s enjoy them!  As Mr. Thurman says:

alive quote

As I have returned to the studying and learning music portion of my artistry, the hunger for food has returned.  But this time I’m wise to it.  When I feel hunger, I ask myself what it’s for—is there another sense that is asking to be heard and nurtured?  (And then of course there are nights like last night when I couldn’t sleep and felt as though I could eat the entire world.)  Am I really hungry for food or is it something else?  I am learning to gage my hunger as a physical connection to all of my senses.  It’s a very interesting process, and one fraught with emotional vulnerability, as most events in my life are 😊.  But I’m learning to do it anyway, because I know that emotional vulnerability is one of those amazing qualities that keeps all of us alive.

All my love,

Jillian

One Comment Add yours

  1. Marlene Inman says:

    ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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